Bargain hunting

Bargain hunting, haggling, neither are things I’ve ever been very good at. I’ve been known to haggle in foreign countries before and when the vendor has asked me to suggest a fair price for the item I’ve felt too guilty suggesting a really low price, so I suggest what I think is a fair price but I know is still more than I should be paying. If a store in the UK has a Sale on I usually walk in and walk straight out again. Just the thought of sifting through racks of paisley purple and orange boob tubes only to buckle under the stress and buy a lime green cardigan that’s two sizes too big but it’s such a bargain at only £2. No thanks. But here in India it’s part of everyday life. There are even specific terms to denote whether or not something is an item that you can bargain for. If it is ‘fixed price’ then that generally means it is a fixed price and no bargaining is to be had, although the exception to this rule is when they say, “300 rupees fixed price, 250 rupees with discount.” This means that the fixed price is actually 250 rupees but occasionally they’ll charge 300 rupees if they can get away with it. Then there is the real haggling which I am still very new to, and bad at, which is why I haven’t yet attempted to buy many items that are not either fixed price or discount. This is when a market vendor will start by telling you that an item is 3000 rupees but there is a good chance that if you are prepared to wait it out long enough, whilst pretending all the while that you’re not that interested in the item anyway, you can sometimes get them down to about a tenth of the original price.

My favourite of these occasions so far has been the other day when I went to buy some sheets from my local market and rather than bargaining with the price the shop owner kept upping the quality of the sheets he was offering, despite them being the same sheets. “Madam these sheets are 100% cotton, very good quality, only 250 rupees.” I paused to look at the good quality sheets. “Madam, very good quality, 200% cotton only 250 rupees.” I stifled a smile and tried to bargain down the price. “Madam, no. Very good quality, 500% cotton, only 250 rupees.” I could no longer stop from smiling and I’m slightly ashamed to say that despite his unique selling point of presumably being the only vendor in India, if not the world, to sell the impossible sheets made of 500% cotton, I did not buy them on this occasion. I had to admire his business acumen though. I think it must have been a man much like this one that sold the Emperor his new clothes.